Friday, November 26, 2010

10 Things Everyone Should Know About Clemson

In anticipation of tomorrow night's annual rivalry game between the Awesome South Carolina Gamecocks and the douchebag Clemson tigers, it's time to talk some trash.  The game will be televised on ESPN2 with kick-off at 7 pm Eastern time.

These are things the whole world should know about Clemson:

  1. They suck.  In too many ways and for too many reasons to fully document on this blog.  Just trust me.
  2. They wear ugly colors - orange and purple.  Who the hell came up with that?  A 5 year-old obsessed with Popsicles?
  3. Their coach has a dumb name (Dabo), as well as a certain inbred look.
  4. Their fans are stupid and illiterate.
  5. They are located near Greenville.  Gross.
  6. Tiger for a mascot?  Play in Death Valley?  "Tiger Rag" for a fight song?  Sounds like somebody gave up on originality and ripped off LSU.
  7. They play in a weak and dumb conference.  The ACC.
  8. The name Clemson is just stupid.
  9. IPTAY = I Plant Taters All Year.  Who other than a bunch of hick farmers would display a bumper sticker like that on their vehicle?  Save it for the tractor.
  10. There are high schools with higher academic standards.
I'm happy I could educate everyone regarding this matter.  I hope it helps.

Go Cocks!

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