Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Today was not Monday, but it was almost as bad. 

The bloodbath conference calls picked up where they ended Friday afternoon.  Will the carnage never end?

What particularly pisses me off are all of the spineless little weasels who sit back and listen, preferring to simply let others get their hands dirty.  Obviously, I am referring to my own filthy hands.

At least tomorrow is Hump Day.  Nothing wrong with that.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day!  It can't believe it's over, but at least we've reached the time of the year with nearly one public holiday per month.  Fourth of July, here I come!

I'm seriously not ready for work tomorrow.  This week HAS to be be better than last week.  If not, I'm not sure I'll make it to the end of the month.

South Carolina was awarded the #4 national seed for the NCAA baseball tournament.  That means home field advantage throughout.  As long as they keep winning, that is.  Good luck.  Let's have a repeat!

The French Open is heating up too.  Roger, Rafa, and Novak are still all in the hunt.  As for the women, the field is so pathetic.  Never thought I'd be pulling for Sharapova.

Reminds me, just a few shorts months until my trip to New York City.  I need to start planning.  It's never too early...

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Beach Bum

I'm finally back from the beach.  It was a fun trip, but I'm pretty exhausted.  Entertaining Baby Jay-Z is a full-time job.  The picture above was taken while I was feeding her her lunch.  Banana baby food.  Not bad actually.  She seemed more interested in cutting up than actually eating.  I have no idea where she gets that from.

I never did make it too the beach.  I decided I needed a nap when everyone decided to step out.  It was a wise decision as I needed the recharge.  Now that Jaylee can crawl, keeping up with her is constant.  She consistently goes for shoes and power cords.  And insists on untying my shoelaces.  I must remember to wear sandals next time.

One more day of freedom before starting work again.  Holiday weekends are the best invention ever.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Garden City

It's been a long day.

I woke up early and left Charleston for Garden City.  It's less than and hour and a half drive north, but still a major feat that early in the morning.

I've spent the rest of the day playing with baby Jaylee.  We're both exhausted.  She's crawling now, and I'm very proud of her efforts.  She's trying to stand, but just doesn't have that trick licked yet.

The family and I all went out to Miyabi for dinner tonight.  I only had sushi, but unfortunately we sat at the hibachi table, so I still smell like it.

Everyone is tired.  Looks like it's going to be an early night.

Friday, May 27, 2011

French Open

The good news---it's Friday.  The better news---it's a holiday weekend.

The bad news---it's taken surviving a really shitty work week to get here.

But first before I get sidetracked...

The French Open has been shocking so far.  Clijsters.  Wozniacki.  Stosur.  All early round casualties.

Oh, cruel clay.  I hope the second week is kinder to my favorites.

It looks like after winning their opening game, South Carolina will be bowing out of the Southeastern Conference tournament.  I'm not to fussed about it though.  They traditionally perform poorly in it, and I'd rather they save their best stuff for the NCAA tournament.  We see how that fared for them last year.

Now back to work.  Everyone is so stressed.  As we move toward our June 30th deadline, things are only getting worse.  Everyone is at each others' throats on these calls.

The douche of the day is a guy named Tim.  Tim looks like Kojak after a long battle with anorexia.  He moans into the phone, mainly because he can't shut his mouth long enough to let anyone else speak.  So he moans and makes odd clicking noises like a zombie sending off a mating call to his fellow undead.

Learn some manners Tim.  Try listening instead of constantly running your mouth and speaking over others.  Or better yet, just quit.  No one likes you anyway.  Tool.

Thursday, May 26, 2011


I was having so much fun yesterday on conference calls and touring breweries that I missed a major worldwide event.  No, there was no Rapture or natural disaster.  I'm referring to the end of the 25 year run of "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

I've never been a huge fan of Oprah, other than to mock her ever-increasing world domination and strangelhold on the media.  At the same time, I do recognize the impact she's had over the past 25 years and struggle to remember a time when Oprah was not a household name.

This whole Oprah-fest has really brought back a flood of memories recently.  When Oprah first burst onto the scene, I was 13 years old and in Eighth Grade.  Yep, believe it or not, I once was young and carefree.  Still grumpy though.

My South Carolina history teacher that year was Donna Pinkston.  Mrs. Pinkston was pure evil, and was my class's source of torment for the entire year.  She had short black hair and wore purple eyeshadow up to her eyebrows.  I don't care if it was the 80's, there's no excuse for that type of makeup, other than to signal to the world the inherent evil trapped in human form.  She probably had a 666 birthmark on her scalp as well, but I never got close enough to look.

One day, we were all talking in class about the new Oprah show when Mrs. Pinkston butted in with an obnoxious "Who's Okra?"

Of course being the smart-assed adolescents we were, we delighted in her ignorance, and ridiculed her endlessly.

She didn't seem to care though.  But I'm sure that Mrs. Pinkston, wherever she may be (lurking in her lair perhaps), knows who Oprah is now.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


I had the best evening!!!!!

After a grueling day at work, full or tortuous conference calls (eff you, Haiwen), I met Weslyn and Mark at Westbrook Brewing Co., a fairly new local brewery here in Mt. Pleasant.

They were having a fundraiser, 30 bucks and unlimited beer and pizza, all made on-site.  At least the beer.  And they even offered a tour of the brewery.  I don't remember many of the specifics regarding the tour, but I'm sure it was very informative.  I suppose that's a testament to the quality of the beer.

It was a very entertaining way to spend a few hours with friends on a Wednesday night.  I'm hoping they have happy hours there on a regular basis.

For more information, visit www.westbrookbrewing.com.

In other news, South Carolina beat Auburn in the opening round of the Southeastern Conference tournament.  Go Cocks!

Whew, glad tomorrow is Thursday.  I'm going to Garden City this weekend to see family.  I'm very excited.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Back on top: Gamecocks No. 1

As reported as www.gogamecocks.com:

South Carolina finally grabbed the top spot in Baseball America’s Top 25 at the conclusion of the regular season.

After winning their weekend series at Alabama to clinch a share of the SEC regular-season championship, the Gamecocks (44-12) became the fourth team to hold the No. 1 position this season, joining Florida, Vanderbilt and Virginia.

Virginia (45-9), which shared the ACC title with Georgia Tech, fell out of the top spot after five weeks to No. 5 when it was swept by North Carolina over the weekend. No. 3 Florida (41-15) and No. 4 Vanderbilt (44-9) both moved back into the top five after winning their final weekend series to tie USC for the SEC title.

USC, the defending national champions, began the season at No. 7 in the poll before steadily ascending over the course of the season. The Gamecocks were ranked No. 4, No. 3 or No. 2 over the previous 12 weeks. Texas (40-13) moved to No. 2 in the poll, up three spots.

USC also is No. 1 in the Collegiate Baseball and PerfectGameUSA rankings.

The Gamecocks open SEC tournament play at 5:30 p.m. Wednesday vs. Auburn.

- Neil White

Monday, May 23, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

I'm 38!  And feeling great.  I don't know where the years have gone, but they sure have been a blast.  I hope the next 38 pass a little more slowly though.

Also born on this date, 40 years before me, was Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan herself, Joan Collins.  Yes, I'm referring to "Dynasty" for those of you born post-80's.  I'll save the story behind that obsession for a later post, but I'll just say it involves parental bribery via eating vegetables in exchange for watching trashy primetime soap operas.

But enough about her.  Below is a picture of me before I had so much grey hair.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Macho Man

I have to admit, I'm a little sad.  Earlier this week, Randy "Macho Man" Savage died in a car accident down in Tampa, Florida.  He was one of the leading wrestling entertainers from the 80's, from the same generation as Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper.  At first, he was an ally of, and later feuded with the Hulkster.  If I recall correctly, it all started because of Randy's wife/valet, Miss Elizabeth.  She was so pretty.  She died a few years ago from an overdose.  These wrestlers lead traumatic lives.

Ok, so now my secret shame is exposed for all to see.  When I was growing up, I LOVED wrestling.  But everyone did, at least here in the South.  It's kind of funny, because  professional wrestling is like soap operas for straight redneck men.  So it was HUGE, and continues to be huge to this very day.  The local newspaper here in Charleston still covers all the happenings in the Sports section.

My neighbor/best buddy growing up, Clay, and I would watch all the matches on Saturday, when we weren't running through the woods playing ninja warriors.  No one told us that it was all scripted, so we would get very wrapped up in all of the drama and rivalry.  Each week, we would analyze the action, and then attempt to recreate all the moves.  It's amazing that I never broke a bone until the age of 16, and that was a stress fracture from running cross country.

One summer we came very close to running away from home so that we could go see Summer Slam, an annual wrestling festival and series of championship matches.  It was held in Charlotte, about an hour and a half away from home.  It could have been in California for all we cared, we were little boys and a city like Charlotte seemed like a world away.  We had no money to fly, so we planned to hitchhike.  In the end, it just seemed like too much trouble, as it was a very hot and humid summer.

In other news, the South Carolina baseball team clinched the SEC regualar season conference title yesterday with their win over Alabama.  Now on to the SEC tournament and the NCAA tournament, where they will have to work hard to defend their national championship.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Big Night Out

Hmmm, today started out slowly, but ended up very nicely.

I spent the better part of the day lounging around.  I was exhausted from this week.

I did manage to finally shower and venture out to meet Heather, Saskia, and Mark for dinner in Park Circle.  We all used to work together, and Heather, who now lives in Anderson, was in town for a conference.  We do not get together nearly enough, and I had a blast. 

We dined at Cork Bistro, and I was very excited to get a Croque Monsieur.  Felt like I was in Paris.  Heather gave me a book of Insults and Comebacks for my birthday.  That has to be the single best birthday present ever, and I cannot wait to study it and commit it all to memory.

Afterwards, we had a few beers at an Irish pub down the street.  That was a substitute for the karaoke fun we thought we were going to have.  Unfortunately, the people we heard singing outside of the Mexican restaurant next door were actually professionals, and unlikely to be open to sharing the stage.

Good times!  And we all survived The Rapture!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Video of the Day

In honor the "The Rapture" tomorrow, I offer the following video...

Seems a shame that it's supposedly going to happen 2 days before my birthday. I was looking forward to turning 38 Monday.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


I'm finally home.  Jasper is very pleased to see me.  I just had Chick-fil-a for dinner.  All is well with the world.

Except that I just found out that the world is supposed to end Saturday.  WTF?  My birthday is Monday, and I'd really like to be around to see 38. 

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Charlotte - Day 3

I obviously need to participate in a sleep study.  3:50 am this morning was the witching hour for me.

I made it through the day though, I have just one more in the office before returning home tomorrow afternoon.

I'm not sure what I'll be doing this weekend, but I do know that it will not involve work.

Nothing on TV tonight.  I think it's time to go to sleep.  Clothes are ironed and bags are semi-packed...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


It's Tuesday evening in Charlotte and I am finally back in my hotel room.

I worked late last night and barely had time to watch the premiere of the New Jersey Housewives.  Of course I also woke up at 5 am this morning and could not go back to sleep, so I was in the office before 7 am.  It was an extremely long day full of conference calls.  The guys visiting from the U.K. are very nice though.

It's now 8 pm and I am ready for bed.  Two more days to go.

I really must remember to buy a Powerball ticket on the way home.

What's this news about the Arnold having a love child?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Weekend Roundup

I can't believe the weekend is over.  Too quickly as usual.  Here are my closing thoughts.

  • Novak continued his dominance over Rafa, this time at the Italian Open.  Vamos, Rafa, pick it up a notch for the French.
  • After dropping the opening game to Arkansas, the Gamecock baseball team bounced back in the final two games to clinch the series.
  • On last night's "Survivor" finale, Boston Rob FINALLY won!  I'm glad, I like the turd, but honestly, after 4 tries, even I could probably manage to win te million dollar prize.  It still amazes me that the jury members are always so bitter in the end.  It's only a game, you big babies!

I'm in Charlotte once again.  Just until Thursday, but less than excited nonetheless.  Tomorrow is going to be brutal.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Every night is a adventure lately.  I'm not sure if it's the warmer weather, or perhaps a change in diet, but my nocturnal mental activity has definitely kicked into high gear.

I've always had bizarre dreams.  Ask anyone.  Maybe mine are no stranger or more abundant that anyone else's, but the difference is that I nearly always remember them.  It quite often makes for amusing conversation with my friends.

Last week, I experienced, once again, my most frequent recurring dream.  Back to high school.  This episode was more specific---it was the first day of my Junior year, and I was filled with the excitement and anxiety of trying to find my new classes.  The really shitty part was I was stressing over remembering the sequence of numbers needed to open my locker's combination lock.

This particular aspect of that dream has haunted me for years, and it's actually rooted in reality.  I always had trouble remembering my locker combination.  This problem was exacerbated after prolonged breaks, such as the Christmas holidays and Spring Break.

I begged my parents to purchase a simpler lock that would open with a key, but I'm sure I would have ended up just losing the key.

Last night's dream was a bit more whimsical.  I was a contestant on a show similar to "Top Chef" and I had reached the Final Round of 3 contestants.  Our challenge was to create stunning desserts by combining atypical ingredients.

My concoction was a type of pudding consisting of rice, bananas, and veal.  It must have been great, because the judges were impressed and I won.

What does any of this mean?  Are there any psychologists out there reading my blog?  And please don't tell me I have unfinished business and want to go back to high school.  No way.

Saturday, May 14, 2011


Today started out just like every other Saturday.  After washing the car, I headed downtown to get my biweekly haircut.

Much to my dismay, Lisa D. was absent, and the barbershop was unusually busy.  Abby cut my hair this time.  Big floppy boobs and a tramp stamp, with fingers that reeked of cigarettes.  Nauseating to a reformed smoker like me.  She was also too rough with the neck, shoulder, and scalp massage.  Lisa D., please come back.

Afterwards, I had breakfast with my old boss, Raymond, at Joseph's.  Joseph's is my favorite breakfast spot downtown on Meeting Street.  It was nice catching up for the first time since February.

It seems that my testicles have disappeared into my body and morphed into ovaries, because for the second time in two weeks I've gone to see a chick flick at the movies.

I have to admit though, "Bridesmaids" is definitely not the typical girly movie.  It is piss in your pants funny.  I highly recommend seeing this one.  There are just too many hilarious scenes to detail.  Take my word for it.  I have a bit of a crush on Kristen Wiig now.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

In honor of the upcoming season premiere of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"...

Friday, May 13, 2011


I made it through the week.  This one has seemed unusually long.

I've done quite a bit of socializing (happy hours), which is not typical for me, and work has been exceptionally stressful.  I'm so tired.

I just returned from my dinner at Lon Point Grill.  What a great reward!  I ate entirely too much though.

I plan to be very lazy this weekend.  Tomorrow is haircut day, but other than that I have no firm plans.  I have to drive to Charlotte for a few days next week, so I fully intend to be a homebody until then.

Thursday, May 12, 2011


Blogger has been down forever.  Don't they know how many people out there depend on my amusing updates?

Get it together, Blogger/Blogspot

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


My good mood was too good to last.

We had horrible storms come through last night around 4 am.  It even woke me out of my drunken stupor.  I could hear Jasper downstairs stirring around, so I went down to lie on the couch.  I let him climb up and lie with me (all 110 pounds) just so that he would not be scared.

I woke up surprisingly refreshed.  Alas, it was all downhill from there.

Work sucks.

If any psychics out there read my blog and can suggest what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, please feel free to send me a message.  Via e-mail, not brainwaves.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


I think I am drunk.

I met my boss, her fiance, and a friend of theirs downtown earlier this afternoon.  We met at the Library at Vendue, a great rooftop bar.  Apparently, I have no tolerance, and after 4 beers, was totally lit.

For the second night in a row.

Afterwards, we stopped by Wet Willie's for a frozen drink.

I just returned home from dinner at Qdoba, and feel like I need to vomit.

I think I am too old for the crap.

But it was fun.  Had a great time with the group.  I just hope I don't pay for this all day tomorrow.

Monday, May 9, 2011



I think I might be a bit drunk.

Had drinks with my friends Weslyn.  Have not seen her since she had her baby, so I went to her house.  Her son is adorable, btw.  We walked across the street to Vespa and had a few happy hour drinks.  Was so much fun catching up and gossiping.

My tolerance is at an all-time low.  Unfortunately, have to do the same thing tomorrow.  Boss is in town and have to meet her.  My liver is crying out for help...

Ready for bed already...


Sunday, May 8, 2011


What a crummy day for sports.

After spending years underachieving compared to the talents of Nadal and Federer, it appears that Novak Djokovic is hitting his stride.  Unfortunately, today it came at the expense of Rafa in the finals at Madrid.

To top off my mood, South Carolina dropped its first weekend series of the season against Ole Miss.  Revenge is sweet however, as the winners still have the misfortune of living in Mississippi.


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Water for Elephants

I saw "Water for Elephants" today and have to admit, I've never been so in love with an elephant in my life.  It was actually a very good movie.  Surprisingly, I liked Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson, both of whom I've never been huge fans.  Maybe I was just relieved to finally see beyond the pasty Edward Cullen vampire hair and makeup.

Of course the real star was the character Rosie, played by the lovable pachyderm Tai.  I sense an Oscar in her future.

In other news, Rafa once again got the best of Roger Federer in tennis.  This time the defeat came on Spanish soil in the Madrid semis.  Tomorrow's final against the on-fire Novak should be good.

Friday, May 6, 2011


Happy Friday, folks!  Finally made it to a well-deserved weekend.

I started celebrating a bit early and had dinner at Outback Steakhouse.  Now I am miserably full.

I'm trying to decide what to do with my evening.  I need to make the most of my free time as I need to work for a while tomorrow.  But I will have peace and quiet so I do not mind as much.

My boss is on her way to the Charleston area for a week of vacation.  While I will enjoy the freedom, it seems strange to know that she will be out lurking in my area.  Fortunately she will be on the other end of town, Folly Beach, so random unplanned encounters are not likely.  It's not as if I'm out and about much on a daily basis anyhow, so I really needn't worry.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Cinco de Mayo

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

I began the holiday by waking up at 3 am, unintentionally of course.  So once again I was up, ready, and in the office by 6:30 am.

After putting in a pretty full day, I did manage to leave shortly before 3 pm.  The drive home was not too bad, as I managed to avoid all traffic in Charlotte, Columbia, and Charleston.

I arrived home just before 6 pm.  Jasper seemed very happy to see me.  After settling in, I was out the door again to get my Mexican fix at Qdoba.

Now I'm ready for bed.  One more day of work and I'm free!  At least partially, as it looks like I'll need to work a little Saturday and Sunday.  At least I will have some relative peace and quiet.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Long Day

Wow.  What another long day.

Woke up at 5 am.  Showered and downstairs for breakfast before 6 am.  In the office by 6:30 am.

And I've been going ever since.  It was a scramble all day long, getting ready for my 3 pm meeting.  Right as we got started the fire alarm sounded and we had to evacuate the building.  Down 13 flights of stairs.

After finally making it back into the building, the meeting ending up being a total waste of time.  My entire reason for being here has been for nothing.

But at least I get to go home tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Here Again

Once again I find myself in the beautiful city of Charlotte for a few days in the office.  This is beginning to become a habit.

Unfortunately, my hotel Uptown is sold out.  There must be some Nascar event.  But don't they know who I am?  I'm an integral part of the banking community and they really should make room for me.

Instead, I'm stuck out by the airport.  At least I was able to get Chinese food delivered.  So it has not been a total loss.

It's 8 pm and I'm ready for bed.  I've unpacked and ironed.  I said I would work some tonight, but now I'm thinking maybe not.

Relaxation is more important.

Monday, May 2, 2011

bin Laden

Wow, what a night.

I knew something was up when they interrupted "Celebrity Apprentice" to say the President would be addressing the nation soon.  That never happens at 10:30 pm.  At first I thought he must be trying to get even with Donald Trump.

But at last came the news that Osama bin Laden had been located and killed.  I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it.  Numb I guess.  Not that I don't think he deserved it, it's just that I think I've locked 9/11 away in a place that seems so surreal and distant.  I really cannot believe it was almost 10 years ago.  In some ways in seems like just yesterday, and it has drastically altered the way we live out daily lives.

Life before the crackdown on air travel.  Remember when you could go through airport security to meet someone at the gate?  Or take your pocket knife hooked to your keychain?  Or not have to take off your shoes to pass through the metal detector.

Yep, it's altered our lives in so many ways, but nothing compared to those who lost friends and families, or who have since lost loved ones in the subsequent wars.

It's very sobering.  So I remain at a loss.  I cannot truly celebrate because it is all just so sad and pointless.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


What a great day.  The weather could not have been nicer.

As promised, I went for a run in the park.  Broke in the new shoes.  44 days to go.

I also washed me car.  Other than that, I did nothing exciting.

Unfortunately, I ended up working for about 4 hours.  Thought I would be making a few quick spreadsheet updates, and got sucked into some major stuff.  At least I got it out of the way before all hell breaks loose this week.

I'm not ready for this weekend to be over.  Why do they always go by so quickly?