Monday, January 31, 2011


It's Monday again.  Just like clockwork, ruined a perfectly good weekend.

The weekend was pretty awesome here, nice and warm, but I don't think it's going to last very long.  Fortunately, that cute little groundhog is scheduled to make his appearance this week.

"Jerseylicious" ended its season last night.  Don't laugh, but our favorite stylists were all competing in-wait for it-New Jersey Fashion Week.  In the end, the team from the Gatsby won best hair and makeup.  It had to have been rigged, Olivia and Anthony rocked it out.

Like I know anything about hair and makeup.  I just wish someone would show me how to conceal these purple bags under my eyes.

Tracy got a new boyfriend.  Sweet, but already displaying signs of control-freakage.

My Atlanta Housewives also had their last episode.  In the end, Cynthia walked down the aisle, or more specifically, the stairs at the Fernbank.  The reunion show should provide lots of good drama.

Tomorrow is February first.  Don't forget to say "rabbit" for good luck.  I really think I need to think about planning some vacation.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

G'day 14

Well, if Rafael wasn't able to win the Australian Open, I'm consoled by the fact that my second favorite player, Novak Djokovic, was able to take home the trophy.  Well done., Novak.

It's going to be a long 4 months until the French.  At least I finally completed my Family Circle Cup application.  I was on the fence about volunteering this year, but at the end of the day, I'd feel like I was missing out if I didn't do it.

This weekend has flown by.  Why does that always happen?  I'm not ready for another long work week.  Must stay positive.  Things are going to change soon, I can feel it.

I'm also back on the "I need a new car" bandwagon.  Or SportsWagen I should say.  Must resist impulse purchases.  It's a good thing the car dealerships are closed on Sundays.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

G'day 13

As expected Kim Clijsters defeated Li Na, or Na Li, or whatever her name is, for the Australian Open title.  I'm glad this is winding down.  I've been less than enthusiastic about the tournament this year.

The Bryan brothers also won.  Just one more match to go, and I can say G'bye to Australia for another year.

I had a nice trip to Costco today.  I love that place, if only for the free samples.  I'm such a sample whore.  Meatballs, miniature pulled pork sandwiches, lobster spread on crackers.  It's like being at a cocktail party with a wide variety of amuse-bouches available.  Except this would be a really white-trash party with amuse-bouches from the frozen food section and heated in small toaster ovens.  But I'm easy to please.

Friday, January 28, 2011

G'day 12

Well, we're in the final days of the Aussie Open.  Somehow I doubt I will be waking up at 3 am to watch the women's final.  But stranger things have happened.

Andy Murray is back in the final.  This is a tough call, I'm not sure who's going to win.  Oh, the suspense.

It's Friday and I could not be happier.  At least by my standards.  I'm very sleepy, and I'll be surprised if I make it past 9 tonight.  Unfortunately I stayed up a bit late last night watching "Day of the Dead," which by the way was utter rubbish.  Since when do zombies run?  I've always prided myself with the knowledge that in the unfortunate event of a zombie situation, I would be able to easily survive.  All you have to do is never turn your back and never get cornered.  But this movie threw that strategy out the window.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

G'day 11

Hot dang.  Novak trounced Federer.  That somewhat lessens the sting of Rafa being bounced.  But not much.

I'm still not sure who to cheer for between the two ladies.  I think I'll have to flip a coin.

In other news, I had a nice visit with the dentist this afternoon.  Luckily it was a routine cleaning, so there was no unexpected drama.  My teeth feel so nice now.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday.  It's been a rough week and I could use a breather.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

G'day 10

Day 10 of the Australian Open.

This is bullshit.

Rafael Nadal is out.  Apparently I jinxed him.

Justine Henin has retired.  Again.

I don't even want to tempt fate by asking what next.

In work-related news, I was just telling everyone last night that my current company seems to be a bit of a revolving door.  And boom, today, another one bites the dust.

Maybe I can will myself a Powerball win.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

G'day 9

OK, I have to admit I'm getting a bit nervous.  Pussy-boy Roger Federer seems to be gaining a bit of momentum.  And it looks like we're headed for a Top 4 Semifinal.  Sending my best thoughts to Novak, and my absolute worst to Murray.  That's my twisted way of willing the Rafa-Slam.

I'm still not sure what to make of the women's draw.  Kim, Vera, and Caroline are all still in it to win it, with a little Asian thrown in for added flavor.  I'm thinking I might actually enjoy seeing the underdog pull off a surprise.

In other news, I just got in from dinner with old co-workers.  Not old in chronological years, just all from a former employer.  It was good catching up with everyone, and makes me miss seeing people on a daily basis.

President Obama is giving his State of the Union address right now.  I'm surprised they are airing it here in South Carolina.

I'm loving that tomorrow is Hump Day.  This 5 day workweek is the pits.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Video of the Day

This video is a shout out to the Girl Scout who rang my doorbell Saturday afternoon.  I'm sorry I was such a douche, but I was napping, and I was not in the mood to deal with 10 year-olds peddling cookies.

Please come back.  I've changed my mind.  I would like 10 boxes of Samoas.

G'day 8

OK, it was a boring day at the Open.  Rafa continues to roll.  The matches from here on out should be pretty good.

Crap , I almost forgot.  I need to fill out my FCC application.  Only 67 days left.

I really don't have anything else exciting to report.  "Jerseylicious" was pretty tame last night.  My Atlanta housewives were even more trifling.  NeNe is being a total bitch, even by Real Housewife standards.  Take that, NeNe.

Monday.  Ugh.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

G'day 7

Roddick and Sharapova are both out!  Stop the insanity!  It's really a shame too.  This was probably Maria's best chance to nab another major.  I can't help but think that these two are approaching the end of their careers.

At least I have a few favorites left going into the second week.  Rafa, Novak, Vera, Caroline, and Kim are all still alive and kicking.  If someone could please knock Murray and Roger out, I would breathe a little easier.

I can't believe it's time for another Monday.  This will be a full week, so it's even extra depressing.  Me thinks it's time to start planning that European vacation, just so I'll have something to look forward to.

I had the wildest dream last night.  It was a combination of "The Walking Dead" and "V."  I was back in Atlanta, and smack dab in the middle of, you guessed it, a zombie apocalypse.  It wasn't very scary though, I was always one step ahead of the undead, and navigating downtown like he native I used to be.  It was extra cool because I'd just bought a condo in my old building, so the adventure began with me escaping down 21 flights of stairs and down Baker Street.

After hooking up with a posse of roller-blading survivors and counterfeiting 100,000 Euros on an HP printer, we escaped to New York City, briefly finding sanctuary along the way in the freezer of a Hardee's.

We finally arrived in the Big Apple, and Anna, leader of the Visitors, announced from up above that she was responsible for the creation of the undead.  Apparently she had succeeded in her evil scheme to find a way to remove the human soul, which resulted in the zombie creation.  Unless we promised to live under her rule, she would zap the remainder of the human race.

I know, I know, it must seem like I'm obsessed with zombies.  I have no idea why I'm not capable of having more normal dreams.  Even the occasional naughty dream would be better than this wacky crap.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

G'day 6

Well, Australia's last hope for tennis glory, Sam Stosur, is out at the Aussie Open.  It's looking more and more like the Caroline and Kim show.  Vera is still lurking in the draw though, I'd almost forgotten about her.

On the men's side, he who shall not be named (for fear of jinx) continues to roll.  I'll feel better once he gets past a certain Scot.

It's so cold here.  Spring cannot come soon enough.  There must be some toros in the atmoshere.

Friday, January 21, 2011

G'day 5

Well, the first week of the Australian Open is getting ready to wind down, and I'm suffering a little bit of disappointment.  I'd had high hopes for Justine Henin, but she just couldn't pull out the win versus Svetlana.  I have to think being injuring most of the second half of last year is still having an impact.

Venus is also out.  What a shocker.  So it looks like all my hopes are resting on the Woz and Kim.

My favorite on the Men's side is still on a roll, but I don't want to jinx him, so I'll refrain from saying much more.  Vamos.

In non-tennis news, last night's episode of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" went out with a bang.  Kyle and Kim had a knock-down, which I still don't really understand.  Camille filed for divorce.  Lisa is getting rid of Cedric.  I can hardly wait for the reunion show.

This week's second episode of "Jersey Shore" also did not disappoint.  New girl Deena is turning out to be quite the little slut.  She ended up hooking up with a Ronnie lookalike.  Snooki was a little better behaved this week.  Being arrested tends to bring out that behavior.  And JWoww had to make a mad dash home to rescue her dogs after her boyfriend found out she'd been cavorting with other guidos.

Oh, the drama...sometimes I can't believe I watch all of this shit.  It's like crack.  I think.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

G'day 4

OK, something needs to happen at the Aussie Open.  They're losing me quickly.  It' a sad sign when I hear myself saying that the only match that intrigues me is Henin vs. Kuznetsova.  Maybe I need to look at the Doubles draw a little more closely.

Thank goodness for my Housewives this evening.  At least I have something to look forward to.

I did catch up with "Top Chef" last night---I'd missed a few episodes.  I was really sorry to see Tiffani Faison eliminated.  She was a total witch in Season 1, but has since reformed.  Either way, I've always been a huge fan of hers.  The woman has mad skills in the kitchen.  Good luck Tiffani, and I hope to see you on a future All Stars episode.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

G'day 3

Hmmm.  Not a very interesting day at the Australian Open.  It took Dodgy Rodgy 5 sets to win, but he managed to escape Gilles Simon.  Dammit.

I continue to be hooked on "V", and I'm not talking about vampire blood for all of of the "True Blood" fans.  I'm actually referring to the lizard-fest remake airing on ABC.  I still cannot believe I almost let this one slip through my fingers.

As it turns out, evil lizard queen Anna is trying to locate and destroy the human soul.  Bitch should try finding mine---that's a mission that would take years.  The episode also featured the torture and skinning of a Visitor who had been posing as an F.B.I. agent.  Go figure.  As you can tell, I'm still sketchy on all of the character names.

It's officially hump day.  Even though it's a short holiday week, that's still a feat worth celebrating.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

G'day 2

Wow, Day 2 of the Aussie Open and I'm already hooked.  My observations from today's matches:

  • I can't believe Safina got double-bageled by Kim Clijsters.  I know she's been down lately, but come on...
  • Vamos Rafa.  Nice practice session.
  • I've never been a Lleyton Hewitt fan, but that was quite a gutsy match against Nalbandian.  I think Hewitt is one of those players who I won't truly appreciate until after retirement.  I never liked Navratilova or Graf until after-the-fact either, but now I appreciate everything they did for the game.  And Martina is probably one of the nicest people I've ever met.  So good job Lleyton, sorry I cheered against you all these years.  I think I really just hated your haircut.  And the excessive "C'mon's" constantly spewing out of your mouth.
"Jersey Shore" was equally entertaining last night.  Poor Snooki.  I can't believe I like that little munchkin now, even if she is a total drunk.  Last night's episode ended with her dramatic beachfront arrest following a daytime boardwalk bender.

The other notable moment was JWoww taking a piss upstairs at the club.  Behind the bar.  Enough said.  In her defense, she did dilute it by spraying water on the floor.

I think I'll stick to watching tennis for the rest of the week.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Down Under

It's that time of year again.  After a very short off-season, the Australian Open is underway in Melbourne.

It's hard to believe that this time 10 years ago, I was there for the action.  Where does the time go?

Of course I'm cheering for Rafa on the men's side.  The women's side is a little trickier.  Without Serena, the draw is a little more open that usual.  I'm hoping that Denmark's Caroline Wozniacki or one of the Belgian's can take home the title.

I wish I were there.  Maybe next year.  But it reminds me, I really should be thinking about plans for Wimbledon or the U.S. Open.  They will be here before you know it.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Dirty Birds

I'd like to officially voice my displeasure with the Atlanta Falcons following their pathetic showing last night.  An abrupt end to an otherwise promising season.  And at the Georgia Dome no less.  Dirty Birds.

Even though today is Sunday, the long weekend has made it feel like a Saturday, eliminating my typical end-of-weekend displeasure.

I've watched a lot of football and caught up on my reading.  I'm about halfway done with "New York", the epic historical novel by Edward Rutherfurd.  Quite a good read actually.

The Golden Globe awards are tonight.  It doesn't take a psychic to predict wins by Colin Firth and Natalie Portman, so I think I'll skip the show and catch up with my chicks from Jersey and Atlanta.

Saturday, January 15, 2011


What a lazy day.  I woke up pretty early, but lounged in bed until 1 pm.  It was awesome.

I think I can blame the combination of cold weather and wacky dreams which kept waking me up last night.  In one, I was caught breaking into a family's awesome beach mansion.  Not for malevolent purposes of course, I thought it was for sale and I was checking it out.  In another dream, tennis superstar Novak Djokovic was in Charleston for a tournament and was spending the night downstairs on my couch.  I suppose all the hotels were full.

I did make it out to the Harris Teeter today.  A guy needs groceries and Diet Coke.  I just returned from a nice dinner at La Hacienda.  Now I'm sitting here enjoying "Dirty Jobs" and my homeboy Mike Rowe.

Good times.

Friday, January 14, 2011


...the end of a very long week.

And the beginning of a nice holiday weekend.  Thank you, Dr. King!

It's still cold as balls here though, so my activity, just like a bear hibernating through winter, may be limited.  No worries.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Home at last!

I awoke at 3:30 am this morning to the sound of my hotel bill being shoved under the door.  Unfortunately,  there was an error with my room rate.  This kept me awake, even though I knew that the front desk would clear it up prior to check out.

So I feel like I've been participating in a sleep deprivation study.  I managed to escape the office a little before 1 pm and finally arrived back home early this evening.  The drive was not awful, and the roads were clear of snow and ice by the time I reached Columbia.

Jasper and Fletcher were ecstatic to see their Daddy of course.  I'm sure they'll be extra-needy for a few days, but I actually welcome it.

I'm so tired, I don't know if I'll be able to stay up for Giggy and the Housewives. Tomorrow should be busy, but at least it's the last day before another 3 day weekend.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Going Home

I'm going home tomorrow.  Even if it means leaving my Honda in this frozen tundra and hopping on my broomstick instead.

I'm sad to report that David Nelson passed away today.  Any child of the 80's who used to watch "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" reruns on Nickelodeon will know who I'm talking about.  It's sad when the icons start to pass on.  This happens in 3's.  Who's next?

"V' was quite good last night!  I think I might be hooked, even if only because of Jane Badler.  I can't believe I disavowed the remake for so long.  Now I wish the episodes from Season 1 were available On Demand.  Comcast, hear my plea!

Stay tuned for an upcoming post devoted solely to the original bitch of the universe.  No, not Sarah Palin, but Diana.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Ice Ice Baby

It's still a cold mess here in Charlotte.  The beautiful snow has begun to melt into a nasty slush, and has refrozen into ice.  It hasn't made for good driving conditions, so the office was even emptier today.

And that's the news for tonight.  I wish I had something more exciting to report.  I'm ready to go home and it's not even mid-week yet.  This is what I get for traveling on a Sunday.

In football news, Auburn won the national championship last night.  It doesn't take away the sting of getting beat by them twice this season, but the 5th championship in a row by a SEC team is certainly nice.  It speaks volumes to the level of competition year after year.

"V" comes on tonight.  I'm v.v. excited about that.  Ha.  It's pretty sad that my life is in a state such that the highlight of my day is similar to that which occurred when I was 12 years old.  At least I'm maintaining some level of consistency.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Snow Day

I think I know what it must feel like to be a survivor during a zombie apocolypse.

I awoke this morning to find around 4 inches of snow covering the ground outside my hotel window.  Upon exiting the hotel, I discovered a world that was deserted and eerily quiet.  And freezing-ass cold.

Luckily, the distance from the hotel to my office is only one block, and with no traffic in sight, the short commute seemed simple.  After a flagrant jaywalking offense, I decided to take a shortcut through the covered protection of a parking garage.  About halfway through, silent alarms starting going off inside my head.

Had I learned nothing from my recent obsession with "The Walking Dead"?  This place seemed ripe for the sudden appearance of a zombie, or at minimum, belligerent homeless person.  I quickly made note of each and every exit, mentally calculating the probability that the door I chose would be locked, thus sealing my fate.

Needless to say, I made it out unscathed and to the warmth of my welcoming office tower.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.  Most of my coworkers declined to take their chances with driving, but there were a few of us to hold down the fort.

I'm now back at the hotel, ready to settle in for the BCS football game between Auburn and Oregon.  I'm not sure who to cheer for, Ducks or Cheaters.

On a more cheerful note, did I mention that supreme bitch Sarah Palin's dumb show will not be around for a second season?  They say it was her decision, but I think someone is finally getting clued in to the fact that most Americans do not give a shit about her dumb opinions.  At least those outside of South Carolina.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Let It Snow

I arrived safely in Charlotte about 4 pm today.  You'd think that the blizzard of the century was bearing down on us based on the hoopla on the local news.  They were putting salt on the interstate earlier, so I guess they are taking this seriously.

The Residence Inn must think I travel with an entourage.  Once again, I got a 2 bedroom suite.  For me and my imaginary posse I suppose.  It is nice to spread out and pretend I'm at the Waldorf.  If only...

Saturday, January 8, 2011


What a lazy Saturday.

I woke up early and headed to the barber for my first haircut of the new year.  Afterwards, it was so cold that I decided to abort my trip to the Chick-fil-a and return home.  They were giving away the new spicy chicken biscuits, but the warmth of home seemed more appealing than a full stomach.

As for the rest of the day, nothing too exciting happened.  I watched TV and did three loads of laundry in anticipation of leaving early for Charlotte.

There is absolutely nothing on TV tonight so I think I'll head upstairs and read.

Friday, January 7, 2011

At Last

I made it through the first full week back at work.  It's a minor miracle.  One more week to go before the next holiday weekend.

It looks like there may be snow or ice Monday morning, so I may have to leave for Charlotte a bit early.  I'm not a big fan of driving, even in the best conditions, much less in inclement weather.  We'll see how it goes.

I'm not sure what I want to do with my weekend.  I've seen all the movies I want to see.  God forbid I get  a head start on organizing for my tax return.  I'm not quite that desperate for tasks.  Yet.

Thursday, January 6, 2011


It wasn't a particularly interesting day here.

I was so tired last night that I fell asleep in the middle of "Top Chef".  The long week is beginning to wear me down, but at least there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I had the strangest dreams last night.  In one, I was back in Melbourne, Australia, for another visit.  It was one of those where in the dream, you have total recognition and recall of the look and feel for places that do not mirror what exists in reality.  The CDB was totally different and even had Charleston-style shotgun houses.  Luna Park was there, but in a different location.  I was able to play tour guide though with total confidence.  Bizarre.

Maybe this means I'm meant to take an exotic trip this year.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday.  I really must take advantage of the weekend before I go out of town Monday.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


What a disappointment.  I was convinced that I was going to hit the $380 million Mega Millions jackpot last night.  Unfortunately, 2 other lucky people, won.

Why?  Why not me?

What I think is even more interesting is that Hurley's numbers from "Lost" hit.  Not all of of them of course, but enough to gain $150.  I'd settle for that at this point.

I broke down and watched the premiere of "V" last night.  I was not impressed with the very first episode of the remake, so I had previously abandoned watching.  But I must say that last night's episode has convinced me to go back and give it another try.  I'm very excited by the return of Jane Badler, who played Diana in the original miniseries, sequel, and subsequent series.  She rocked back then, and still does.  I'm certain to be devoting a post to her soon.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Call Me

My replacement mobile phone arrived today.  It's a janky piece of plastic, but hopefully it will serve its purpose until I can decide on a better model.

I was unable to save my contacts, I need everyone to please CALL ME so that I can repopulate my address book!!!!

In honor of this loss, I offer another oldie from Blondie. This is one of my favorites.

I also ran across another interesting clip---a remake by 80's goddess Samantha Fox and Sabrina Salerno!!! And no one told me that Samantha Fox was a lesbian now.

Monday, January 3, 2011


Monday.  Ugh.

I'm happy to report that I ended the weekend with some original television programming to help take my mind off the looming workweek.  "Jerseylicious" had its season premiere.  Apparently Mama Cass has risen from the dead and is now working at the Gatsby.

Seriously, bravo to the Style network work for pumping out the quality programming in a quick and consistent manner.  It seems like the last season just ended, yet I'm already be treated to more.  HBO and Bravo should take note.

I'm sad to report that my mobile phone has officially kicked the bucket.  It started acting up last night, and continued rebooting itself this morning.  This may not sound like a big deal to most people, but I'm very committed to my gadgets, and choosing a replacement will take nothing short of 5 in-store visits and 3 months.  Verizon is no longer selling my awesome Nokia model, so I ordered someone's refurbished sloppy seconds to serve my needs until I could make a better informed decision. 

I'll no doubt lose all of my numbers, so everyone please call me after tomorrow morning's FedEx delivery so that I can re-add you to my address book.

The technology gods are vexing me even further, also striking my work laptop.  I have to drive up to Charlotte Wednesday to have it re-imaged.  Arg.  Oh well, at least I'll get to have a quick visit with my posse.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


Today is Sunday and my usual Sunday funk is about 10 times worse that usual.  It's probably because I'm dreading the first 5 day work week since mid-December.  It sucks, and I cannot wait for MLK day.

It's 8 pm and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been out of bed today.

I'm so funked up that I'm watching "Sarah Palin's Alaska", but I blame that on Andy Cohen and Bravos's lack of new programming, along with the fact that making fun of that bitch Sarah Palin always cheers me up.  It's worth whatever ratings boost it gives her.

On the plus side, I just got a text from my friend Harry asking if I was volunteering for the Family Circle Cup again this year.  Less than 3 months, and something to look forward to.  We had a blast last year, fighting over which vehicle was more pimped out and hiding the keys from other drivers who were not worthy of the luxury.  David N., if you're reading this, you missed out, no matter what I told you in an attempt to make you feel better about missing the tournament! 

It's so much fun seeing the same people over and over again each year, like a little family reunion.  Except for that bitch who blessed me out for spraying insect repellent indoors.  Like it was any worse than her rank perfume.

Saturday, January 1, 2011


Welcome to 2011.

I wish I could say that I brought the New Year in with a bang, but it was really a rather low-key affair.  Just how I like it.

After watching South Carolina get knocked off by the Florida State Semen-Holes, I tuned into Andy Cohen's NYE celebration on Bravo.

Andy, can I PLEASE get an invite for next year's party (or my own reality show)?  It was quite entertaining.  The highlight had to be the impromptu wedding of Giggy Vanderpump and Grandma Wrinkles.  I don't think I'll explain any further, it's worth searching the web for pictures of the bride and groom.

Today was a beautiful start to the year.  It's finally warm again, probably in the mid-60's.  I hope it remains this way until spring.

Continuing with my Oscar countdown, I saw "The King's Speech" today.  It was much better than that Swan movie, and Colin Firth is most definitely Oscar-worthy.  I'm not quite sure what the next movie on my list should be, but I've definitely reached my limit for the weekend.