Thursday, December 23, 2010

Naughty or Nice

Today is the final full day of vacation and another Fun Day at Sea.  As a result, I've had a touch of cabin fever, and my behavior has been very, very naughty.  I'm sure to get switches in my Christmas stocking.

This morning started out on a sour note.  The relentless buzzing of non-supervised children finally took its toll on me, and I in turn imposed my wrath on a super-annoying 5 year-old who insisted on running and screaming throughout the Lido deck dining room.

Each time the little asshole made a pass near me, I accidentally tripped him with my outstretched leg.  Not once, but two times.  Much to my surprise, the little turd had remarkable recovery skills, and my best attempts to end his reign of terror barely even made him break his stride.

Yes, I know, tripping up small children will surely land me on Santa's naughty list, or possibly Satan's Most Wanted, but I believe that it's well worth the imposition if only to teach lessons to the youth of today.  Actually, a lesson would be better suited to the parents, all who tend to think that a cruise ship is a huge corral in which their little beasts can roam free and annoy fellow passengers.

My other moment of naughtiness happened after leaving midway through the 3:30 pm Christmas show.  I was on the way back to my cabin, walking the empty decks, when the ultimate opportunity presented itself.  Right there in the hallway on Deck 6 was a sight prettier than a  BMW with the key left in the ignition. 

Yep, you guessed it, an unsupervised Rascal sitting outside a random cabin.  I came really close to hijacking it, wondering what top speed I could reach while zooming down the length of the deck.  Surely it's not considered larceny as long as it doesn't leave the ship.

In the end, I decided against my little joyride.  Even a grinch like me has limits on the number of bad deeds performed in one day.

Tomorrow we arrive in Miami at 7 am and it's a mad dash back to Charleston to rescue the dogs from their spa retreat.  I hope they haven't given up hope yet.  Luckily, they have short-term memories, and a few dozen treats should eliminate any feelings of abandonment.

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