Sunday, May 19, 2013

Superman

So I went to see the latest "Star Trek" flick at the theatre today.

The movie was alright, but I have to admit I checked out mentally during the previews.

The object of my obsession is the upcoming Superman movie.  I'm all for this current trend of rebooting stale franchises and giving life to stories from my childhood.  The new generation deserves to benefit from the tales of Superman, Star Trek, and Star Wars as much as I did when I was young.  (No jokes about my birthday next week.  Please!)

What I don't understand is, if you're going to update a classic tale such as Superman, why not update EVERY FREAKING DETAIL?

Case in point:

Why does Superman still wear tights?  Isn't that just a dated throwback to the action heroes of the 60's?  Does it make him more aerodynamic in flight?  He's the man of steel, I hardly think the drag and resistance created by a nice MODERN pair of fitted khaki shorts (from the Gap of course) is going to significantly impact his flight speed.  He's faster than a speeding bullet and all.

And what's with that cape?  It's a bit showy if you ask me.  I cannot believe that Superman honestly thinks that added piece of uniform is going to intimidate his foes.  Unless he's going head to head with Liberace.

And if he's really concerned with aerodynamics, as addressed above, a piece of cloth flapping in the wind is hardly helping the cause.

On the other hand, I guess Halloween wouldn't be as much fun if kids and adults alike didn't have the opportunity to ditch their everyday couture and throw on the best skintight flammable polyester superhero attire Wal-Mart has to offer.

But it still makes me cringe, and not just because my days of being able to pull of a pair of tights are long gone...


 

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