Here's a festive picture of my sister and me taken last Christmas. I really have no idea why I was so obsessed with wearing a Santa cap. I was probably having a bad hair day.
It's Hump Day, but I'm afraid I've run out of Hump-related songs. Instead, I'll share my wacky dream from last night.
In this dream, I was riding in an airplane. We had just taken off. I was seated near the front of the plane, but there was no cockpit, so I could see clearly out the front. Just past the end of the runway, there was a dense forest full of pine trees. As we were accelerating and just lifting off, I noticed that we weren't getting the proper amount of lift, and I knew that we wouldn't clear the top of the approaching trees.
We were going to crash, so I ran to the back of the plane, thinking that it would be a little less traumatic to not be the first thing to come into contact with one of the trees.
Fortunately, that part of the dream fast-forwarded and I found myself in the middle of nowhere, in a town that was completely unfamiliar with me. Total hickville, but with a Midwestern feel. For some reason, I was working as a taxi driver. I was completely lost, but I had a GPS in my car, so it was OK. Mike Rowe from "Dirt Jobs" and Daniel Tosh were two of my fellow drivers.
I stopped at a flea market to pick up a fare. Suddenly, chaos broke loose, and people were screaming that a tornado was approaching. Before I could react, everything was being swept away, including me. I know, it's very "Wizard of Oz".
When I finally landed, I had been taken back in time to an ancient Mayan civilization. I was placed smack dab on top of a pyramid, where a high priest was trying to sacrifice me. Of course I managed to escape. I ran and ran, until I finally found refuge in a little mud hut occupied by a friendly Mayan family.
They were preparing for a traditional family wedding and said I could help them get ready for the festivities in exchange for safe refuge. I thought this was fair, until I found out that my task would be helping to hand-roll candles out of beeswax. Apparently this was the party favor for each of the guests. And there were over 600 invited!
The most amazing part of that dream is that I somehow knew how to speak the ancient Mayan language with a high degree of proficiency.
The next thing I remember, I was back in an airplane and preparing to land in Atlanta.
I know what you're thinking. My dreams make absolutely no sense, but that is how my brain works. Perhaps that explains why I wake up every morning exhausted.
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