Duped

TGIF.  I've already begun celebrating, and just got in from a fattening meal at Outback Steakhouse.  I had to have my Aussie fix since the Australian Open has ended.

Now I feel like vomiting.  I ate way too much.

I'm very excited about seeing the baby tomorrow, but not too excited about the drive.  The little vixen had better appreciate the quality time with her awesome uncle.

I was totally duped by "Jersey Shore" last night.  Ronnie did not have hemorrhoids, but was bleeding out of his bottom due to excessive drinking.  I know, too much information, but the look on his face while he was getting examined was priceless.

G'day 14

Well, if Rafael wasn't able to win the Australian Open, I'm consoled by the fact that my second favorite player, Novak Djokovic, was able to take home the trophy.  Well done., Novak.

It's going to be a long 4 months until the French.  At least I finally completed my Family Circle Cup application.  I was on the fence about volunteering this year, but at the end of the day, I'd feel like I was missing out if I didn't do it.

This weekend has flown by.  Why does that always happen?  I'm not ready for another long work week.  Must stay positive.  Things are going to change soon, I can feel it.

I'm also back on the "I need a new car" bandwagon.  Or SportsWagen I should say.  Must resist impulse purchases.  It's a good thing the car dealerships are closed on Sundays.

G'day 13

As expected Kim Clijsters defeated Li Na, or Na Li, or whatever her name is, for the Australian Open title.  I'm glad this is winding down.  I've been less than enthusiastic about the tournament this year.

The Bryan brothers also won.  Just one more match to go, and I can say G'bye to Australia for another year.

I had a nice trip to Costco today.  I love that place, if only for the free samples.  I'm such a sample whore.  Meatballs, miniature pulled pork sandwiches, lobster spread on crackers.  It's like being at a cocktail party with a wide variety of amuse-bouches available.  Except this would be a really white-trash party with amuse-bouches from the frozen food section and heated in small toaster ovens.  But I'm easy to please.

G'day 12

Well, we're in the final days of the Aussie Open.  Somehow I doubt I will be waking up at 3 am to watch the women's final.  But stranger things have happened.

Andy Murray is back in the final.  This is a tough call, I'm not sure who's going to win.  Oh, the suspense.

It's Friday and I could not be happier.  At least by my standards.  I'm very sleepy, and I'll be surprised if I make it past 9 tonight.  Unfortunately I stayed up a bit late last night watching "Day of the Dead," which by the way was utter rubbish.  Since when do zombies run?  I've always prided myself with the knowledge that in the unfortunate event of a zombie situation, I would be able to easily survive.  All you have to do is never turn your back and never get cornered.  But this movie threw that strategy out the window.

G'day 11

Hot dang.  Novak trounced Federer.  That somewhat lessens the sting of Rafa being bounced.  But not much.

I'm still not sure who to cheer for between the two ladies.  I think I'll have to flip a coin.

In other news, I had a nice visit with the dentist this afternoon.  Luckily it was a routine cleaning, so there was no unexpected drama.  My teeth feel so nice now.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday.  It's been a rough week and I could use a breather.

G'day 10

Day 10 of the Australian Open.

This is bullshit.

Rafael Nadal is out.  Apparently I jinxed him.

Justine Henin has retired.  Again.

I don't even want to tempt fate by asking what next.

In work-related news, I was just telling everyone last night that my current company seems to be a bit of a revolving door.  And boom, today, another one bites the dust.

Maybe I can will myself a Powerball win.

G'day 9

OK, I have to admit I'm getting a bit nervous.  Pussy-boy Roger Federer seems to be gaining a bit of momentum.  And it looks like we're headed for a Top 4 Semifinal.  Sending my best thoughts to Novak, and my absolute worst to Murray.  That's my twisted way of willing the Rafa-Slam.

I'm still not sure what to make of the women's draw.  Kim, Vera, and Caroline are all still in it to win it, with a little Asian thrown in for added flavor.  I'm thinking I might actually enjoy seeing the underdog pull off a surprise.

In other news, I just got in from dinner with old co-workers.  Not old in chronological years, just all from a former employer.  It was good catching up with everyone, and makes me miss seeing people on a daily basis.

President Obama is giving his State of the Union address right now.  I'm surprised they are airing it here in South Carolina.

I'm loving that tomorrow is Hump Day.  This 5 day workweek is the pits.

G'day 8

OK, it was a boring day at the Open.  Rafa continues to roll.  The matches from here on out should be pretty good.

Crap , I almost forgot.  I need to fill out my FCC application.  Only 67 days left.

I really don't have anything else exciting to report.  "Jerseylicious" was pretty tame last night.  My Atlanta housewives were even more trifling.  NeNe is being a total bitch, even by Real Housewife standards.  Take that, NeNe.

Monday.  Ugh.

G'day 7

Roddick and Sharapova are both out!  Stop the insanity!  It's really a shame too.  This was probably Maria's best chance to nab another major.  I can't help but think that these two are approaching the end of their careers.

At least I have a few favorites left going into the second week.  Rafa, Novak, Vera, Caroline, and Kim are all still alive and kicking.  If someone could please knock Murray and Roger out, I would breathe a little easier.

I can't believe it's time for another Monday.  This will be a full week, so it's even extra depressing.  Me thinks it's time to start planning that European vacation, just so I'll have something to look forward to.

I had the wildest dream last night.  It was a combination of "The Walking Dead" and "V."  I was back in Atlanta, and smack dab in the middle of, you guessed it, a zombie apocalypse.  It wasn't very scary though, I was always one step ahead of the undead, and navigating downtown like he native I used to be.  It was extra cool because I'd just bought a condo in my old building, so the adventure began with me escaping down 21 flights of stairs and down Baker Street.

After hooking up with a posse of roller-blading survivors and counterfeiting 100,000 Euros on an HP printer, we escaped to New York City, briefly finding sanctuary along the way in the freezer of a Hardee's.

We finally arrived in the Big Apple, and Anna, leader of the Visitors, announced from up above that she was responsible for the creation of the undead.  Apparently she had succeeded in her evil scheme to find a way to remove the human soul, which resulted in the zombie creation.  Unless we promised to live under her rule, she would zap the remainder of the human race.

I know, I know, it must seem like I'm obsessed with zombies.  I have no idea why I'm not capable of having more normal dreams.  Even the occasional naughty dream would be better than this wacky crap.

G'day 6

Well, Australia's last hope for tennis glory, Sam Stosur, is out at the Aussie Open.  It's looking more and more like the Caroline and Kim show.  Vera is still lurking in the draw though, I'd almost forgotten about her.

On the men's side, he who shall not be named (for fear of jinx) continues to roll.  I'll feel better once he gets past a certain Scot.

It's so cold here.  Spring cannot come soon enough.  There must be some toros in the atmoshere.

G'day 5

Well, the first week of the Australian Open is getting ready to wind down, and I'm suffering a little bit of disappointment.  I'd had high hopes for Justine Henin, but she just couldn't pull out the win versus Svetlana.  I have to think being injuring most of the second half of last year is still having an impact.

Venus is also out.  What a shocker.  So it looks like all my hopes are resting on the Woz and Kim.

My favorite on the Men's side is still on a roll, but I don't want to jinx him, so I'll refrain from saying much more.  Vamos.

In non-tennis news, last night's episode of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" went out with a bang.  Kyle and Kim had a knock-down, which I still don't really understand.  Camille filed for divorce.  Lisa is getting rid of Cedric.  I can hardly wait for the reunion show.

This week's second episode of "Jersey Shore" also did not disappoint.  New girl Deena is turning out to be quite the little slut.  She ended up hooking up with a Ronnie lookalike.  Snooki was a little better behaved this week.  Being arrested tends to bring out that behavior.  And JWoww had to make a mad dash home to rescue her dogs after her boyfriend found out she'd been cavorting with other guidos.

Oh, the drama...sometimes I can't believe I watch all of this shit.  It's like crack.  I think.

G'day 4

OK, something needs to happen at the Aussie Open.  They're losing me quickly.  It' a sad sign when I hear myself saying that the only match that intrigues me is Henin vs. Kuznetsova.  Maybe I need to look at the Doubles draw a little more closely.

Thank goodness for my Housewives this evening.  At least I have something to look forward to.

I did catch up with "Top Chef" last night---I'd missed a few episodes.  I was really sorry to see Tiffani Faison eliminated.  She was a total witch in Season 1, but has since reformed.  Either way, I've always been a huge fan of hers.  The woman has mad skills in the kitchen.  Good luck Tiffani, and I hope to see you on a future All Stars episode.

G'day 3

Hmmm.  Not a very interesting day at the Australian Open.  It took Dodgy Rodgy 5 sets to win, but he managed to escape Gilles Simon.  Dammit.

I continue to be hooked on "V", and I'm not talking about vampire blood for all of of the "True Blood" fans.  I'm actually referring to the lizard-fest remake airing on ABC.  I still cannot believe I almost let this one slip through my fingers.

As it turns out, evil lizard queen Anna is trying to locate and destroy the human soul.  Bitch should try finding mine---that's a mission that would take years.  The episode also featured the torture and skinning of a Visitor who had been posing as an F.B.I. agent.  Go figure.  As you can tell, I'm still sketchy on all of the character names.

It's officially hump day.  Even though it's a short holiday week, that's still a feat worth celebrating.

G'day 2

Wow, Day 2 of the Aussie Open and I'm already hooked.  My observations from today's matches:

• I can't believe Safina got double-bageled by Kim Clijsters.  I know she's been down lately, but come on...
• Vamos Rafa.  Nice practice session.
• I've never been a Lleyton Hewitt fan, but that was quite a gutsy match against Nalbandian.  I think Hewitt is one of those players who I won't truly appreciate until after retirement.  I never liked Navratilova or Graf until after-the-fact either, but now I appreciate everything they did for the game.  And Martina is probably one of the nicest people I've ever met.  So good job Lleyton, sorry I cheered against you all these years.  I think I really just hated your haircut.  And the excessive "C'mon's" constantly spewing out of your mouth.

"Jersey Shore" was equally entertaining last night.  Poor Snooki.  I can't believe I like that little munchkin now, even if she is a total drunk.  Last night's episode ended with her dramatic beachfront arrest following a daytime boardwalk bender.

The other notable moment was JWoww taking a piss upstairs at the club.  Behind the bar.  Enough said.  In her defense, she did dilute it by spraying water on the floor.

I think I'll stick to watching tennis for the rest of the week.

Down Under

It's that time of year again.  After a very short off-season, the Australian Open is underway in Melbourne.

It's hard to believe that this time 10 years ago, I was there for the action.  Where does the time go?

Of course I'm cheering for Rafa on the men's side.  The women's side is a little trickier.  Without Serena, the draw is a little more open that usual.  I'm hoping that Denmark's Caroline Wozniacki or one of the Belgian's can take home the title.

I wish I were there.  Maybe next year.  But it reminds me, I really should be thinking about plans for Wimbledon or the U.S. Open.  They will be here before you know it.

Palmetto State Champions

Another great weekend for Gamecock football!!!  South Carolina easily handled Clemson last night 29-7.  It was a great performance going into Saturday's SEC Championship game against Auburn.

In other weekend sports news:

• All I can say about Auburn is that I hope their luck has run out.  What a game against Alabama.  Hopefully the Gamecocks can do a better job of containing Scam Newton this time.
• Glad to finally be able to say "Told ya so" re: Boise State.
• 10 bowl eligible SEC teams once again.  Who says they are not the premiere conference in college sports?  That's right, no one.
• Roger Federer just defeated Rafael Nadal for the year-end tennis championship in London.  Boo.  Oh well, Rafa has had a great year.  Here's hoping he can continue his Grand Slam success going into Melbourne at the Australian Open.  Which, by the way, Serena just withdrew from.  Who's going to step up and rescue the women's game?